The Short History of Wedding Traditions

This past weekend, one of my dearest friends tied the knot. She and her now husband have an absolutely beautiful story and it was wonderful to watch them both fall in love.

Before the wedding, she asked me to do some research on wedding traditions. She was looking for information to include in the wedding program for the guests, wanting it to read more like a playbill rather than a mundane series of events (i.e. "The Seating of the Grandmothers, The Lighting of the Unity Candle, etc.).

There was info on the bridesmaids and groomsmen including how they met and knew the bride and groom and the important roles they played or would play in the couples lives. It was really beautifully done as was the wedding itself, full of meaning instead of feeling like a formality.

The research itself, for me, was incredibly interesting and I wanted to share some of my findings with you, from the origins of the oldest of wedding traditions to their evolution into modern day ceremonies. Of course, wedding traditions and ceremonies vary vastly according to different countries, religions, and cultures. My research mostly pertained to western Christian traditions.

Attendants

Best Man

          In earlier times, the groom often kidnapped his bride. He always held her on his left side to keep his sword hand free to fight off rival suitors or enraged relatives. To this day, the groom still stands to the right of the bride.

If the groom needed help with the kidnapping or the ensuing fight, he would choose a best man.

In later centuries, on the day of the wedding, it was the job of the best man to ensure that the groom didn’t turn back for any reason once he had set out to meet his bride.  He was also responsible for giving the groom a small good luck charm to carry in his pocket, which later translated into a small sum of money to pay to the church minister.

Maid of Honor

            The Maid of Honor is a relatively recent development. Historically, the wedding party only consisted of a bride and a groom. In more recent years, when much more planning and effort were put forth, the bride would ask her closest friend for advice and assistance, which then developed into the maid of honor role, who was traditionally an unmarried woman and carried the title of chief attendant.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

          Beginning in the 17^th century, it was thought that weddings were attended by evil and malevolent spirits who wanted to harm the bride and groom. Because of this, the closest friends and family would stand with the couple and dress like them in order to confuse the spirits. The tradition continues with bridesmaids typically wearing the same dress and/or colors at the wedding.

Ceremonial Traditions

Are you with the Bride or Groom?

          Feuding families often arranged marriages in order to end wars between clans or factions. In order to avoid bloodshed at the weddings, the best man made sure that the families sat on opposite sides of the room or church.

Who gives this woman to be married?

            Women were the property of their fathers up until the time of their marriage. In ancient times, the giving of the bride usually included her dowry and other property and goods.

Tying the Knot

          The phrase refers to the ancient marriage tradition of handfasting, where the hands of the bride and groom were bound together as a symbol of their unity.

Honeymoon

            Long ago the honeymoon often preceded the marriage! This began happening when the grooms would kidnap their brides. They would then go into hiding for a period of thirty days, or a moon cycle. During this time, the drink of choice was honeyed wine. Hence the term honeymoon.

The Bridal Veil

          The Bridal Veil has a wide and varied history.

            Ancient Greeks and Romans believed that if the bride wore a veil, she would be protected from evil spirits.

            Medieval traditions also saw the bride wearing a veil in order to confuse evil spirits. It was believed that the bride appealed to evil spirits because of her happiness, thus her face was covered in order to conceal her joy from the spirits.

            The veil was also used in arranged marriages particularly because the groom might back out if the bride was thought to be plain. By wearing the veil the groom was kept committed and the veil was also seen as a symbol of the obedience or submission of the bride to the groom.

In later traditions, the white veil represented purity. The bride traditionally wore the veil over her face throughout the ceremony and it was only lifted at the end. If the groom lifted the veil, it was a symbol of his dominance, but if the bride lifted the veil, it was a symbol of her independence.

To Christians, the veil was and is a symbol of modesty and sexual purity. The veil was also a symbol of inner beauty and the groom married the bride with the veil on to symbolize that beauty may fade, but love is eternal.

            

The Bouquet

      Flowers have been around at weddings as early as the ancient Greeks who used to wear them in garland wreaths around their head, a la Julius Caesar. They often contained bulbs of garlic as well, for the smell was thought to ward off evil spirits. 

      The use of garlic and herbs for protection was carried on for many centuries before being abandoned for more fragrant florals. In medeival times, it was customary to bathe only twice a year. Bath times usually fell before Christmas and during summer. Since it was considered fortuitous to wed in the Spring, most brides and grooms weren't at their freshest, so flowers were carried and herbs were sewn into dresses and pockets to make the ceremony more enjoyable for all involved. 

     In later centuries, flowers are still carried for luck, protection, fertility, and symbols of love and womanhood in bloom. 

    Starting in the Victorian Era, most flowers began to have special meanings attributed to each one and were carried as messages to one another. Tulips and Roses meant Love, Violets represented Faithfulness, Daisy's were Innocence, and Carnations meant Fascination. You can find a lengthy list of flower meanings here.

     As for the famous bouquet toss, the Victorian bride would give her flowers to her friend to pass on protection and wish her luck. The tradition has since evolved in a toss where the lucky woman who catches it will be the next one to wed.

Engagement Rings

            The tradition was born in 1215, when the pope issued a mandatory waiting period in between the engagement and the marriage. The wealthier classes began giving engagement rings at this time. The pope also issued a law stating that all marriages must take place in a church and that an exchange of rings would symbolize the union.  The rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was believed that that finger contained a vein that led directly to the heart.

Something Old, Something New…

          The traditional saying goes:

Something old, something new

Something borrowed, something blue

And a silver sixpence in her shoe.

            The tradition dates back to Victorian England and each trinket carried or worn by the bride was thought to bring good luck and good fortune to her marriage.

          Something Old – Thought to be a symbol of the bride’s past and the life she is leaving behind as well and her desire to stay connected to her family even as she begins her own.

            Something New – A symbol of optimism and hope and of the new union being created by the bride and groom.

            Something Borrowed – Thought to be a symbol of borrowing happiness from a happily married woman so that her happiness will carry over to the new bride. It is also thought to symbolize the love and adoration the bride has for the person that she borrowed from.  

            Something Blue – The color blue symbolizes fidelity, loyalty, modesty, purity, and love and has been associated with weddings for centuries.

            Sixpence – A sixpence is a coin made in England from the 16^th-20^th centuries. It was made of silver and worth six pennies. The wedding tradition dates back to Victorian England but borrows from an earlier Scottish tradition where the groom placed a silver coin in his shoe for luck. The bride usually wears the coin in her left shoe and it is thought to represent wealth and financial security.

Unity Candle

          The lighting of the Unity Candle is one of the most recent wedding traditions with roots beginning in the early 1900’s. The bride and groom light a single candle from two separate individual candles to symbolize the union of two families and two souls.

Throwing Rice

            This may be the oldest wedding tradition, dating back to the ancient Egyptians and Hebrews who threw rice at the newly married couple as a symbol of fertility. Over the years the rice has given way to bird seed, bubbles, and sparklers.

You May Now Kiss the Bride

          In ancient Rome, Christians used the wedding kiss as a symbolism of the scriptures saying that two souls have now become one flesh. Early Christians also believed that clinking glass at the wedding or the reception would scare off the devil. The couple would then exchange a joyful kiss.

            Ancient Romans used the wedding kiss as a binding of the wedding contract, hence the saying, sealed with a kiss.

            Either way, the wedding kiss is one of the longest standing wedding traditions still in existence today. 

So there you have it. The act of marriage has long been one of religious symbolism, secular  tradition, and all around superstition. And maybe next time you attend a wedding, you'll have something to break the ice with when you're seated with a group of complete strangers.

What have been some of the strangest or most interesting wedding traditions you've witnessed?